Connect with us

RussiaFeed

News

Satire

5 steps to becoming a Putin Agent

Published

on

7 Views

My name is Adam and I’d personally describe myself as a guy with informed opinions which luckily for me, an increasing amount of people want to hear. I have always had these opinions, but years ago before the advent of modern multi-polar media, few people could hear them.

But this simple reality cannot be accepted by the mainstream media and their water carriers on social-media. I’ve come to refer to the latter group of people as the alt-establishment as they spend hours promoting the positions of the elites in spite of having no actual stake in the closed system that they can gaze at but never actually benefit from. But I suppose someone needs to do it.

According to the ruling elites, mainstream media and the alt-establishment, people like me are ‘Putin Agents’ in spite of the fact that most of us haven’t met President Putin and we’re not ‘agents’ of anything, secret or otherwise.

That being said, ‘Putin Agent’ sounds a bit better than ‘guy with informed opinions’,so with that in mindL Here are the top five requirements to being a ‘Putin Agent’.

1. Be A Free Global Thinker 

If you believe that the world is bigger than your country and that politics everywhere matters then you might be a top secret, covert, under-cover Putin agent.

You see, western mainstream media is highly parochial. It focuses more on a local trash heap in need of clearing than of political elections in democratic countries that even if western mainstream media viewers have heard of, they mistakenly thing are ‘barbaric dictatorships’.

2.  Question Authority, Question the ‘Experts’, Question EVERYTHING

If you find yourself trusting historic fact, common sense and factual reportage over the opinions of experts who received their positions from elitist western circles that tend to collectively spit on the subject matter the so-called experts discuss, you might also be a fully accredited KGB style Putin agent.

The western mainstream media have for decades monopolised the discussion by offering no counterpoints to their narrative. Just because someone says something is true, doesn’t make it so, no matter how much CNN spends on their suit and tie. Alt-media can lie too, that’s why you should question that also.

The truth can come from all sorts of places, ordinary people as much as those in a bland ivory tower. If you seek the truth rather than a good story, you’re part of the ‘club’.

3. Respect Other Nations 

If you believe that nations should have the right to exist on their own terms without any unwanted interference and if you furthermore believe that ideological value judgements are not a way to conduct any kind of international relations, then you are very close to being a Colonel in the Putin Agent Army.

4. Don’t Be A Fanatic

There are more opinions on this planet than there are people. People agree on somethings and disagree on others–this is NORMAL! To shut people up because they have a different opinion is pathetic, it is what losers like Emmanuel Macron do.

By all means be passionate, be powerful in your arguments and be creative in your rhetoric, but remember, the people who comment on social media are generally the true believers.

You can’t win an argument with those who refuse to change their beliefs. The people whose eyes you will open will not necessarily comment nor even acknowledge you, they are the silent majority, they are the audience.

This is true of every aspect of the media, arts or sport whether it be in music, football, painting or boxing. The real fans cheer among themselves, but they don’t usually ram their feelings down your throat nor anyone else’s. If they do they are called hooligans and that’s what many people on social media are.

Furthermore, if you go to sleep at night thinking that the ‘world needs you: newsflash, it doesn’t. Consider yourself lucky if anyone in the world still WANTS you and dream about pleasant things like fishing, drinking a nice glass of whatever, or having a pleasant night out. Don’t worship idols…least of all the one in the mirror.

If you can do this, you will be a deeply successful, subversive and infiltrating Putin Agent.

5. Have A Sense of Humour 

One area where media outlets like RT, Sputnik and The Duran differ from mainstream media is that they are not afraid to show a sense of humour. Most good actors will tell you that it is far more difficult to laugh and be convincing on stage or screen than it is to cry. When people laugh it is because they are expressing a sincere emotion.

If you can make them laugh, you can make them think. Humour is such an important gateway to connecting us as fellow human beings….even if we can’t all be Putin Agents all of the time.

Now go out there and get hacking cracking!

 

 

Liked it? Take a second to support The Duran on Patreon!
Advertisement
9 Comments

9
Leave a Reply

avatar
8 Comment threads
1 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
8 Comment authors
MagsSuzanne GiraudJohn R. NolanAlexis KThomas M. Kelly Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
antobojar
Guest
antobojar

Hurray… I didn’t even know, that I am Putin’s agent for a long time.. 🙂 ha ha..
.. all five requirements met.. 🙂

Roland Chidozie
Guest
Roland Chidozie

I need my decoration.. Long been a Putin agent kgb style.

Thomas M. Kelly
Guest
Thomas M. Kelly

Franklin Roosevelt allied with Stalin against Hitler. I see nothing wrong with forming an alliance with Putin against the New World Order. We can worry about the Russians after the war is won.

John R. Nolan
Guest
John R. Nolan

How can one become an honorary Russian citizen? Russia and their president leave the Western governments, political hierarchies and fascist dictatorship still down in the dark ages.
Our inane, petty, petulant political immaturity cause one to be highly ashamed of our stupid dependence on WAR as our only sense of personal achievement.
Russia will rule!

Alexis K
Guest
Alexis K

My God I just realise I am a Putin agent. These requirements describe me to the T. On the other side it’s a honour. I rather be an agent to a real leader like Putin than a subject to any of our delusional puppets we call leaders.

Suzanne Giraud
Guest
Suzanne Giraud

Love it, Adam – totally thrilled. I confess.

Tomas
Guest
Tomas

How dare you change format without telling.. You publication now looks like an IAC site, such as the Daily Beast. I just about sent you to the spam dump on my email service, plus the fact that I GOOGLEd “russiafeed.com and surly flagged your publication for a little research on their part (sorry). I the Duran, just as it was. I read a lot of Russian English language publications, like Southfront, even the Saker from time to time and have donated hundreds to such causes. Yes I live in the USA, ‘Paradise Lost’ (or never really was), land of the… Read more »

Mags
Guest
Mags

Me too Alexis K. When and where is the next meeting🙀😺😸🕶🙊🙈🙉

Mags
Guest
Mags

Me too Alexis K.🙊🙈🙉🕶👓

Latest

Photos of swastika on Ukrainian mall stairway creates a stir [Video]

Ukrainian nationalist press in damage-control mode to explain away the Nazi sign, but they forgot the name of the street the mall is on.

Seraphim Hanisch

Published

on

One of the aspects of news about Ukraine that does not make it past the gatekeepers of the American and Western news media is how a significant contingent of Ukrainian nationalists have espoused a sense of reverence for Nazis. The idea that this could even happen anywhere in the world in an open manner makes the claim seem too absurd to be taken seriously. Gone are the days when the Nazi swastika adorned streets and buildings in Europe. Right?

Well, maybe, wrong.

This was seen in Kyiv’s Gorodok (or Horodok, if you insist) Gallery, a shopping center in that city, located on Bandera Avenue.

The pro-nationalist news service UNIAN wasted no time going to press with their explanation of this incident, which admittedly may be accurate:

Children and teenagers who participated in the All-Ukrainian break dance festival held in the Kyiv-based Gorodok Gallery shopping mall were shocked to see a swastika image projected onto an LED staircase.

The mall administration apologized to visitors, explaining saying that their computer system had apparently been hacked.

“The administration and staff have no relation to whatever was projected onto the LED-staircase, and in no way does it support such [an] act. Now we are actively searching for those involved in the attack,” it said in a statement.

According to Gorodok Gallery’s administrative office, it was not the first time a cyber breach took place.

As reported earlier, Ukraine is believed to be a testing ground for cyberattacks, many of which are launched from Russia. Hackers have earlier targeted critical energy infrastructure, state institutions, banks, and large businesses.

This time, it appears, hackers aimed to feed the Kremlin’s narrative of “Nazis in power in Ukraine” and create a relevant hype-driving viral story for Russian media to spread it worldwide.

The Gorodok Gallery also apologized on its Facebook page and said that this was a result of hacking.

But what about the street that the mall is on? From the self-same Facebook page, this is what we see:


To translate, for those who do not read Ukrainian or Russian, the address says the following:

23 Steven Bandera Prospekt, Kyiv, Ukraine 04073

This street was formerly called “Moscow Avenue.” Big change, as we shall see.

Steven Bandera got his birthday designated as a national holiday in Ukraine last December. He is known in Ukraine’s history for one thing. According to the Jerusalem Post:

The street where the shopping mall is located is named for Stepan Bandera, a Ukrainian nationalist who briefly collaborated with Nazi Germany in its fight against Russia.

His troops are believed to have killed thousands of Jews.

Several Israeli papers picked this bit of news up, and of course, the reasons are understandable. However, for the West, it appears possible that this news event will largely go unnoticed, even by that great nation that is often called “Israel’s proxy”, the United States.

This is probably because for certain people in the US, there is a sense of desperation to mask the nature of events that are happening in Ukraine.

The usual fare of mainstream news for the West probably consists of things like “Putin’s military seizes innocent Ukrainian sailors in Kerch incident” or, “Ukraine’s Orthodox Church declared fully independent by Patriarch of Constantinople” (not that too many Americans know what a Constantinople even is, anyway), but the overriding narrative for the American people about this country is “Ukraine are the good guys, and Russia are the bad guys,” and this will not be pushed aside, even to accommodate the logical grievance of Israel to this incident.

If this article gets to Western papers at all, it will be the UNIAN line they adhere to, that evil pro-Russia hackers caused this stairway to have a swastika to provoke the idea that Ukraine somehow supports Naziism.

But UNIAN neglected to mention that the street name was recently changed to Stephan Bandera (in 2016), and no one appears to have hacked this. Nor does UNIAN talk about the Azov fighters that openly espoused much of the Nazi ideology. For nationalist Ukrainians, this is all for the greater good of getting rid of all things Russia.

A further sad fact about this is the near impossibility of getting assuredly honest and neutral information about this and other similar happenings. Both Ukrainian nationalists and Russian media agencies have dogs in the race, so to speak. They are both personally connected to these events. However, the Russian media cannot be discounted here, because they do offer a witness and perspective, probably the closest to any objective look at what is going on in Ukraine. We include a video of a “torchlight march” that took place in 2017 that featured such hypernationalist activity, which is not reported in the West.

More such reports are available, but this one seemed the best one to summarize the character of what is going on in the country.

While we do not know the motive and identities of whoever programmed the swastika, it cannot really be stated that this was just a random publicity stunt in a country that has no relationship with Nazi veneration.

The street the mall is on bears witness to that.

Liked it? Take a second to support The Duran on Patreon!
Continue Reading

Latest

Putin: If mid-range missiles deployed in Europe, Russia will station arms to strike decision centers

Putin: If US deploys mid-range missiles in Europe, Russia will be forced to respond.

RT

Published

on

By

Via RT…


If the US deploys intermediate-range missiles in Europe, Moscow will respond by stationing weapons aimed not only against missiles themselves, but also at command and control centers, from which a launch order would come.

The warning came from President Vladimir Putin, who announced Russia’s planned actions after the US withdraws from the INF Treaty – a Cold War-era agreement between Washington and Moscow which banned both sides form having ground-based cruise and ballistic missiles and developing relevant technology.

The US is set to unilaterally withdraw from the treaty in six months, which opens the possibility of once again deploying these missiles in Europe. Russia would see that as a major threat and respond with its own deployments, Putin said.

Intermediate-range missiles were banned and removed from Europe because they would leave a very short window of opportunity for the other side to decide whether to fire in retaliation after detecting a launch – mere minutes. This poses the threat of an accidental nuclear exchange triggered by a false launch warning, with the officer in charge having no time to double check.

“Russia will be forced to create and deploy weapon systems, which can be used not only against the territories from which this direct threat would be projected, but also against those territories where decision centers are located, from which an order to use those weapons against us may come.” The Russian president, who was delivering a keynote address to the Russian parliament on Wednesday, did not elaborate on whether any counter-deployment would only target US command-and-control sites in Europe or would also include targets on American soil.

He did say the Russian weapon system in terms of flight times and other specifications would “correspond” to those targeting Russia.

“We know how to do it and we will implement those plans without a delay once the relevant threats against us materialize,”he said.

Liked it? Take a second to support The Duran on Patreon!
Continue Reading

Latest

Russia’s Lukoil Halts Oil Swaps In Venezuela After U.S. Sanctions

Under the new wide-ranging U.S. sanctions, Venezuela will not be able to import U.S. naphtha which it has typically used to dilute its heavy crude grades.

Published

on

Via Oilprice.com


Litasco, the international trading arm of Russia’s second-biggest oil producer Lukoil, stopped its oil swaps deals with Venezuela immediately after the U.S. imposed sanctions on Venezuela’s oil industry and state oil firm PDVSA, Lukoil’s chief executive Vagit Alekperov said at an investment forum in Russia.

Russia, which stands by Nicolas Maduro in the ongoing Venezuelan political crisis, has vowed to defend its interests in Venezuela—including oil interests—within the international law using “all mechanisms available to us.”

Because of Moscow’s support for Maduro, the international community and market analysts are closely watching the relationship of Russian oil companies with Venezuela.

“Litasco does not work with Venezuela. Before the restrictions were imposed, Litasco had operations to deliver oil products and to sell oil. There were swap operations. Today there are none, since the sanctions were imposed,” Lukoil’s Alekperov said at the Russian Investment Forum in the Black Sea resort of Sochi.

Another Russian oil producer, Gazprom Neft, however, does not see major risks for its oil business in Venezuela, the company’s chief executive officer Alexander Dyukov said at the same event.

Gazprom Neft has not supplied and does not supply oil products to Venezuela needed to dilute the thick heavy Venezuelan oil, Dyukov said, noting that the Latin American country hadn’t approached Gazprom Neft for possible supply of oil products for diluents.

Under the new wide-ranging U.S. sanctions, Venezuela will not be able to import U.S. naphtha which it has typically used to dilute its heavy crude grades. Analysts expect that a shortage of diluents could accelerate beginning this month the already steadily declining Venezuelan oil production and exports.

Venezuela’s crude oil production plunged by another 59,000 bpd from December 2018 to stand at just 1.106 million bpd in January 2019, OPEC’s secondary sources figures showed in the cartel’s closely watched Monthly Oil Market Report (MOMR) this week.

By Tsvetana Paraskova for Oilprice.com

Liked it? Take a second to support The Duran on Patreon!
Continue Reading

JOIN OUR YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Your donations make all the difference. Together we can expose fake news lies and deliver truth.

Amount to donate in USD$:

5 100

Validating payment information...
Waiting for PayPal...
Validating payment information...
Waiting for PayPal...
Advertisement

Advertisement

Quick Donate

The Duran
EURO
DONATE
Donate a quick 10 spot!
Advertisement
Advertisement

Advertisement

The Duran Newsletter

Trending